2 Dudes, 1 God Pod

Beginnings: Trey and Pat talk about their life, struggles and faith welcome to the Pod

Trey Thedford and Pat Lacy Season 1 Episode 1

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What if the struggles you faced were the very pathways to discovering your true faith and purpose?" Join Trey Thetford and Pat Lacey as they open up about life's trials and the spiritual journeys that followed. From rebellious teenage years in Texas to overcoming substance abuse, they share candid stories of redemption and finding a home in faith. This inaugural episode of "Two Dudes, One God Pod" sets the foundation for conversations that challenge the norms of traditional church dialogues, inviting listeners to explore raw and unfiltered discussions on faith, culture, and personal experiences.

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Trey:

October 27th and this is the first ever episode of Two Dudes, one God Pod. All right, you ready? We recording? Yep? Oh, here we go. All right, welcome to Two Dudes, one God Pod, hosted by Trey Thetford.

Pat:

And co-host by Pat Lacey.

Trey:

All right, I'm excited to get this started. This has been on my heart for a long time, and I think Pat too. We've got a lot to get into, but I think first we want to just get out of the way that this is not intended for children or for weak-minded men. There's not a topic I don't think that we're going to be comfortable, that we're not going to be comfortable covering yeah.

Pat:

I think it's important to take into account that there's a lot of taboo topics in society, that we're involved with the church and everything like that, and it seems like whenever we have people that show up to the church and they're all clean cut and there's nothing wrong with being clean cut I definitely respect a man that dresses well and that that does, you know, put put into his personal look and everything but the reality is is like sometimes we got to get down and dirty to discuss some of the things that, um, god has really laid on our hearts and, to be honest, like it's kind of a burden um for us whenever we we don't um go as deep as God really wants us to.

Pat:

Um, so that's kind of the. The heart behind this is, you know, getting into some deep issues where we're not necessarily afraid of politics, we're not afraid of any of the culture, um norms to discuss and um norms to discuss, and we hope that we don't piss anybody off. But at the same time, you know, we're we're called to be a light in a dark world and the dark world has realized that darkness is is losing its its hold on the world. So I guess we'll, we'll kind start, trey, how about you begin with telling us about you?

Trey:

Who is Trey Thetford? I'm still figuring that out.

Pat:

Right.

Trey:

I guess, just to add on to what you were saying, I think the worst thing that the church can do is tell somebody hey, we don't talk about that here and uh, so it's super.

Trey:

I mean, we, we go to the same church, super, super happy to be where I am Um and then, you know, I, I guess my hope is that, through this dialogue and through the guests we have in the stories that we explore, is that we really shine light on the. The reason for all of this is god and, like jesus, the holy spirit, the, the. The interdiction in our lives, the. You know some, so many things that I've gone through. I've been able to look down and go, wow, that was just. I was just God doing for me what I couldn't do for myself, you know, and uh, I don't think anybody's beyond redemption.

Trey:

So, uh, yeah, I was born and raised here in Tyler. Um, my mom and dad were married before they had me and they stayed married until my dad passed of cancer in 2015. Um, I've got a little brother who's just almost four years younger than me and, uh, you know, I was a senior when he was a freshman and he lives in Colorado. Uh, I am married, super duper lucky, married to like the most amazing woman ever, and it's my second marriage. The first one was was maybe not so super duper lucky, and uh, y'all, y'all hear more about that.

Trey:

Um, I have a, a soon-to-be 18 year old daughter. We're just shy of them. December 30 she'll be 18 and I've got a stepson who will be going into sixth grade next year and two miniature schnauzers and a mostly Belgian Malinois mutt and you know, yeah, I was born and raised here in Tyler. I'm in recovery. I quit drinking and kind of got delivered from the drug and alcohol stuff I think most people would consider pretty early in life. I was 18., but that did not exempt me or accept me from my 20s and 30s. I'll be 40 in January. To give some context, this is recorded October 27, 2024. So, uh, I've definitely, I've definitely lived a lot of life in this 40 years that I've, that I've had and, um, hopefully, hopefully, some of the stories I've got to share will will help some people you know, if, if, if, for anything, it'll just help them to know what not to do.

Trey:

What about you?

Pat:

Pat. Well, I was actually born in Tyler, so I was born at the hospital here. But my family is from an area called Price, texas, and people from Price know it as Carlisle, and and people from Price know it as Carlisle and people in the area know it as Carlisle. And you know I was raised up in church. You know my mom. She drug me to church every opportunity that the church was open type thing. The church was open type thing.

Pat:

And as I grew up and got into my teenage years, like rebellion started setting in and like I started having questions about faith and those I'm not going to say those questions weren't getting answered, but I didn't like the answers that I was getting and I feel like there was more to what was going on and it kind of goes back to the whole we don't talk about that kind of stuff thing which we'll be bringing those topics up.

Pat:

But you know I went rebellious for a season and, man, I ended up um doing meth whenever I was like 15 years old. Um started doing Coke in high school and, mind you, like I wasn't like the popular guy in in school Like I was, I was just the fat kid. Everybody knew me as fat Pat, um, um, and, but like I started drinking and um, getting myself into situations that were pretty hairy, um, like rubbing elbows with, like the wrong type of people, and um, my conversion, uh, took place after I had been selling dope. I had been, um, uh, let's see, I'd been selling dope and I'd already dropped out of high school.

Pat:

Um, this was my wait wait, you've been selling meth meth yeah, sorry, yeah, that's for like people, people who don't know, like there's, there's people that are like, oh, dope marijuana, blah, blah, blah. But like in my, my group of people and in age, like you say, dope it's, it's pretty much associated with meth you're from carlisle from carlisle from carlisle bro right next to the plant farm.

Pat:

Um, but, um, like I, I had some. Uh, I had a situation where the police ended up in my dad's apartment in henderson, um, because there was rumors that I was trying to sell guns to the local cartel. Um, and carlisle, hey, hey, they, they was pushing, let me tell you. Um, but that wasn't true. But I did have, uh like a quarter ounce of meth in my medicine cabinet and, um, they didn't find it and I, um, woke up or like, uh, they had left, and it was kind of a moment of like, oh, you got pretty lucky. And then I just heard like a voice say no, you're blessed, dude.

Pat:

Um, and that was like the first interaction like that I'd had with God, and like really with God, and like really where he had reached out to me, um, and so I went on and, um, I saw a guy that was an elder at my church at the time, or at the church that I'd went to for social gatherings type thing, and um, uh, there was just like a little question in my head that was like, hey, I wonder how they've been doing. So I started heading out there and, like, immediately, I started arguing with myself, I started like having questions. I started like they know exactly what you've been doing, all this, that and the other. And I ended up losing the argument because I just pulled up to the church and ended up walking in and the thing that stood out to me was all these people knew what I had been doing, but they were just happy to see me. You know what I mean.

Pat:

And so from that, like I saw the, the youth pastor, that night and he was like hey, come to my office, I got something for you. And I was like nah, you know, whatever, dude, I'm just gonna, I'm not going to take your shit. Like I'm not going to, just going to like take your authority type thing, authority type thing. And I was headed out to the parking lot and I got to my truck and the youth pastor was like hey, come to my office. So he cornered me up and I went to the office with him and he's talking to me and he pulled out a bible from the cabinet and and I was like, okay, he's just got a conveyor belt of Bibles. That's just like ready to go out for any of the delinquents type thing.

Pat:

And um, I took it and I said, oh, thanks. And he said, no, look, flip it over and look at it. And I flipped it over and had my name engraved in it it was actually supposed to be my graduation Bible and because I had dropped out, I had just assumed that nobody gave a shit about me anymore. And that started producing the waterworks. You know that, uh, I started like tearing up and everything like that, cause I hadn't experienced that type of love from somebody outside of my family and I just was like I got to go, you know, and I started getting down the road and I started having these questions in my mind and I was like, okay, well, maybe this guy had set all these people up to tell them that I was coming and to love me and hug me and let me know that I'm loved, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, that I was coming and to love me and hug me and let me know that I'm loved, blah, blah, blah blah.

Pat:

And I went through a series of these questions. That was like grilling the ministry that I had just left, and then the last one that I got to was oh, they're Christians. And I said no, that's not it, I'm a Christian. And then I sat there and I realized I was like no, I'm not a Christian. I've been running from anything and everything stable in my life. I don't want anything to do with God. I mock God, I make fun of Jesus, I do all these things and there's nothing in my life that indicates that I'm a believer. And that was a moment of God. I need your help. I need this because I've been doing this my way for so long, thinking that I'm right and nothing that I'm doing is going the direction that I want it to.

Pat:

And so I woke up the next day in a puddle of tears and I um, I went to the bathroom and threw that quarter ounce of meth into the toilet and never looked at it again. The toilet and never looked at it again. And wait, wait. So the when they raided your your house?

Trey:

they didn't. They sure did not find it dude okay. So if you're listening, the bathroom is a great bathroom in a vitamin c bottle specifically.

Pat:

Just pack it under the cotton and you'll be fine. But, um, you know, I I was so, so blessed in that area and I realized that whenever I had woken up the next day, that I just took it and I threw it into the uh, the toilet how much is that worth?

Pat:

uh, it was worth about 1500. Uh, about 1500. Yeah, I was 18 years old and what's crazy is I was just chasing my tail. I was never getting ahead. I would make a big lick. I had these people that I sold with, that I sold for and just kind of like marketing, all throughout the system, all throughout the network, and I thought that I was really making big moves. But the reality was I was not, like I was struggling because, at the end of the day also, I was getting high momentum supply.

Pat:

Yeah, so I was breaking that number one rule no, I didn't pay attention to it, like I just remembered to say hello to my little friend and like I took it as the the meth is my friend type thing, um and um, so I I threw it away and the guy that had given me the bible, um, I called him up and was like hey, I'm, I'm really at a point where I need to change um and I need help. And he was like well, I can, I can put you to work, I can, I can have you hauling hay and you know, doing the agriculture stuff and that's kind of like my background is, you know, feeding cows, um, making sure things are fed and things are getting to the slaughterhouse and all that kind of stuff. But I just started in a little bit of obedience. And next thing, you know, I end up going to work for a branch in Hawkins, texas, that was a church camp for a church out in Dallas, grapevine specifically, and I just started getting plugged in. But it seemed like my rebellion to authority just kept coming up, like kept being an issue in my life and I didn't like doing the early morning Bible studies. I didn't like doing the late night Bible studies because one reason I was being told to do so.

Pat:

And now, as a, as a 33 year old, you know, I've got a daughter now. I went to Australia and lived there for about three years and did God has really blessed me. Like, when you look at my, my what's? I'm, by definition, uneducated. I didn't even make it past the 12th grade that I've been in. Yet God's pursuit of us, I believe, is something that is very supernatural and it's something that we don't deserve.

Pat:

And so, you know, I did the thing in Australia trained horses, worked cattle and worked on big cattle stations down there and worked on big cattle stations down there, um, and I ended up getting married while I was down there and that marriage license actually voided out my um, my visa while I was down there, um, so I had to come back to the States and, um, I brought my exwife and my daughter over here and things just didn't work out between me and my ex and there was a lot of things that I needed to unpack because again, kept running into the whole. Oh, we don't talk about those things. You know, you can talk to that with your counselor and then the counselor would talk about it with me, and then the counselor would talk about it with me, but there was no actual application and having that avenue and having that, Like at church.

Pat:

Yeah, like at church, like having that brotherhood behind me, letting me know that, hey, we're here to support you in this struggle.

Trey:

Well, I've had this problem too.

Pat:

Yeah, like it's crazy because, like, once you start to peel things back, it's crazy because once you start to peel things back, they're like or I say they, people around us can get overwhelmed by those things that we bring forward to them and it's just simply that they're not prepared to deal with these things or they deal with them in a certain way and you've got to be kind of fluid in how you apply these things to your life that you've learned about and you know over the years. I'm not going to sit here and say that that I'm recovered because, like I will, I'll still go have a beer with somebody. You know I'm, I'm not given over to the drink and, to be honest, it's it's such a rare thing that I don't really enjoy it. Like I'll, I'll have like two beers and I'm I'm tipsy type thing. I'm a cheap drunk. Like what can I? I'm a cheap date, um, but the thing is is like I got to a point where I had lived these years after I'd converted to Christianity and truly became a believer in Christ and was pursuing God in a way that it was real to me and I was able to express that to people. But that struggle of getting to where he's my Lord and not just my savior. Um, that's a, that's a, really um, that's a big gap and it's usually about 12 to 15 inches between your forehead and your heart. And I do believe that it is a sanctification process, like I can honestly say that I got saved. I've been saved probably 150 times since, between I was a kid and between now, because it's that revealing, that God just keeps revealing and you're like holy crap, I had no idea that this was a blind spot in my life or something. So we tend to think that, oh, I'm putting my faith in this again. But the reality is that's just a part of the sanctification process and I was on the road for a long time.

Pat:

I was a welder, um, as a career, and I um, I pursued what my father, um, my earthly father had put into me and it's like, hey, you're going through difficult times, just go to work, type thing, and that didn't always work. It was definitely something good to bring the focus in and to keep me focused on a talent or a trade or whatever you want to call it. But whenever I started to really cry out to God is whenever he really showed up, and people act surprised whenever we're like well, I just prayed to God and he did this and this and this, and we act surprised about it because he is such a good father better father than I could ever be and whenever I lost my dad, my earthly father, is whenever a lot of things started to really show up. I lost my dad. My earthly father is whenever a lot of things started to really show up and I started pursuing God in a whole other way, in the sense of I want Jesus to not only be my Savior, but I want my Heavenly Father to be my Father period. And whenever I started doing that, I went to a couple of jobs after he had passed away and it just wasn't the same. You know what I mean, because I'd worked with him for so long and built that relationship up with him and I came home and I just was kind of at ends meet I was.

Pat:

I was at that end point of I think I'm ready to be done with, uh, with construction. And I uh just walked into a butcher shop and was like, hey, do y'all need somebody to stack boxes type thing, y'all need somebody to stack boxes type thing. And the guy there, he, he was so, so generous to me and he gave me a position of not just stocking boxes. But you know, he was like, can you, can you skin stuff? And I was like, yeah, I can, I can skin anything, like I ain't scared of that. So he, I got in on the kill floor and was doing, um, kills on cattle and pigs and all that kind of stuff and it's something like it's an extension of that agriculture background that I'd really grown up in and understood and it just kind of became an unfolding.

Pat:

But now that I've got a local job, there was something burning in me that said you need a local church. And so I had a couple of options to go to and I knew um some really incredible people in all of those ministries Um, but the one that I've ended up at now is something that I can't praise God enough for, and that's how me and you met was through that ministry. And now I'm just so excited to see what God is really doing in the church Not just the big C church but the little C church um, and able to influence relationships um able to put people in my life that I really never expected um to actually be given that gift of. And you're one of those gifts, definitely.

Trey:

I want to unpack some stuff because I I think that I can identify, and probably a lot of guys can identify with a mysterious angel that I guess is representing God, and then God gives him the name Israel.

Pat:

Hmm.

Trey:

And that literally translates to he who wrestles with God.

Pat:

Yeah.

Trey:

You know, and like I see myself in Paul in the Bible a lot, I'm like, okay, yeah, I can identify with this. But you know, I think there's a difference between running from God and wrestling with.

Pat:

God.

Trey:

And I would much rather wrestle.

Pat:

Yeah, absolutely, because you're still in his jurisdiction.

Trey:

You're in communion with him.

Pat:

You're still talking to him, you're still having a discussion with him.

Trey:

And I think for me I don't know about you at some point in my life I had to go well, god either exists or he doesn't, right? And if he does exist, then there's nothing he can't do because he exists outside of space time and matter because he created it. I mean, the first sentence of of genesis lays that stuff out for us.

Trey:

So, um, do you, do you think that when that youth pastor guy gave you that bible, did you feel like, well, you didn't graduate and you weren't really a Christian and all these different things Did, did? Did you like try to convince yourself that you were not worthy of that kind of love, because it had nothing to do, it wasn't a merit thing, you didn't earn it, he, he got it for you. I'm sure it had like your name on it and all that.

Pat:

Yeah, um, I would say, I would say that the worthiness wasn't even there yet. As far as, like receiving the gift, Um, I don't think that I was really aware of God's goodness. I think that's that's really where I was was that I had, because, you know, whenever we start to allow different philosophies to enter into our lives and I don't, I don't think that I was wrestling with god at all whenever that bible was placed in my hand um, I believe that, um, the wrestle began when that bible was placed in my hand because I had let so many of the different philosophies of the world to come in.

Pat:

I was a huge Discovery Channel guy. I was a huge science. I could tell you all about physics and chemistry and the way that, the billions and eons and all that kind of stuff. I was pretty sold out for that because I'd given my mind over to it. And I wasn't giving my mind over to it and I wasn't giving my mind over to Christ. I wasn't taking my instrument of my brain and asking God to tune my heart to the things that my brain was consuming.

Pat:

Does that make sense? It's kind of like I was just I knew too much. That's what I thought I was like I'm so smart, I'm so intelligent and none of these people know what's going on around them this, that and the other. And the reality is I didn't know shit. I knew nothing about the real world. I knew, I knew about heartache, but all that I'd ever done was really run from heartache. I never really pursued the the opposite position and took the lesser route of being humble, of being contrite, of being broken and bringing that brokenness to god well, I mean, we're all pretty selfish and self-serving.

Trey:

Who wants to be, you know, humble, right, but listen to that. I think, like the ronald reagan quote, the trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much. That isn't so.

Pat:

Yeah, and I wasn't even liberal, yeah.

Trey:

I mean, that's a whole other podcast episode. But I mean the ideas. Some of that stuff would certainly line up. I mean, I think there's a ton of archaeological evidence right now that's coming out that's proving that the earth is young yeah you know um, there was a cool thing on. It was like the search for the real mount sinai on amazon. I watched the whole thing. There's wow, these two dudes just like opened a bible and they're like we're gonna find. We don't think mount sinai is what we call mount sinai yeah like, followed the scripture and found the mountain.

Pat:

It's in saudi arabia. Yeah, I think I saw that too and like the top half of the mountain is like scorched and oh, that's so cool.

Trey:

Yeah, there's there and like there's a there's a sign and you know arabic and english. It's like you know archaeological sites stay out. It's covered razor wire.

Pat:

There's soldiers there like yeah, I'm sure it's just a coincidence, doesn't want us over there poking around having religious, you know stuff going on, imagine that.

Pat:

But but I think, uh, you know, listening to some of your story and like there's a lot, we're gonna have to break down a lot of this stuff and I know that you've skipped a lot of, you fast forwarded a lot of stuff yeah, and I've, I've left out, like, all the heartache because, like, at the end of the day, I'm not trying to relive trauma, I'm not trying to relive the emotions on the things, like there's there's a lot of things to unpack there, um, but at the end of the day, I, my testimony years ago was that God delivered me from drugs and that, you know, I, he, he, gave me the strength to um get rid of meth out of my, of my life, and you know, turn my way from that.

Pat:

But now my testimony is God has pursued me in such a way that I don't deserve it on pen and paper, but because I'm his child, because I'm someone who has turned to him, you know, I think of Job with all of his struggles and all his trials and tribulations. And you know the thing about Job he was someone who had like 48 chapters of discussing with his homies about why god has afflicted him and his. His homies were, were like, well, because you did this or you didn't do that, or blah, blah, blah. You know, go right down the line. Um, job never stopped bringing it to god, he never stopped talking to god, he never stopped, I mean, I think there's outright dialogue between god and the devil.

Pat:

Yeah, specifically about job yeah, which is like wow, like god was like cool, do your worst, you know yeah because he's my boy, like he's, he's gonna be standing ten toes on that. But and and you see, like in in our feeble mind, we're like job was not the most faithful person in the world, but at the end of it all, after all these affliction had come against him, um, job, like god, came to job and he said all right, make yourself a man. I want you to stand yourself up and listen to what I have to say, wherever you. Whenever I told the sun to rise at this point and to set at this point, where were you? Whenever I told the ocean it's only supposed to go this far?

Pat:

He goes right down the scripture and asks 64 questions that only God can really be the one to answer right and at the end of it all, the one to answer right. And at the end of it all, job says I repent in dust and ashes. Before my ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you. And it's not that that god was literally in person, right there in front of job, and that he's seeing all of his glory. Before Job had heard of God, he'd made sacrifices to God, he knew that he was the guy, but he took on a lot. I imagine there was a little bit of pride being the richest man in the land, with all the biggest herds, with all the biggest people. That was working for him like everything, people that was working for him like everything. And um, whenever he comes and he says before my ears had heard of you and now my eyes have seen you.

Pat:

Now I know you, now I know exactly who my god is and I have a relationship with him now and that that's where the whole, where God set him back up.

Pat:

Like it's kind of crazy what God actually did for Job afterwards, because we see in the lineages that Jesus actually ended up coming from Job and having all that kind of stuff, and you see that time and time again in scripture. Like that's the thing, like all these feeble, brokenhearted, struggling people of the Bible, um, they're just as flawed as you and me and anyone listening to this podcast, and yet God sent the savior of the world through them because his love, because he chose it and not because of what Israel had to do. So, kind of going back to the whole wrestling with God thing, you know we see that Israel, um is what did he say? He was like I'm not letting go until you bless me, until you have given me my blessing because he knew that god was the only one to actually bless him and he had a limp for the rest of his life after he had broken his hip, but he gave him a new name and that kind of goes back to the whole.

Pat:

You know, not knowing if you're worthy or not, that lamp, that that Israel had for the rest of his life. I imagine he was pretty proud of it because God's the one that gave it to him. You know, it's that, that hindrance, that that struggle, that weakness, that that we tend to hate sometimes, but at the same time you tend to hate sometimes, but at the same time, god's made glorified through those hindrances.

Trey:

God always uses what you have, not what you don't have.

Pat:

Right, like the fishes and the loaves deal.

Trey:

Absolutely.

Pat:

He used what Job?

Trey:

had and let the devil take it away. And that's tough to remember, because I want everything to be good. I want everything to be the way I want it to be yeah my life always goes better if I go hey, god how do you want this to be? So that I can try to like meet you where you are, because he's certainly met me where I am.

Trey:

He's been to time out with me yeah, exactly, yeah I don't know what y'all's experience with god is, but, um, I guess I'll I'll tell a little bit about my salvation journey. Um, uh, you know, like I said, I was born here in Tyler and my parents, um, shortly after they got married we're living in an apartment and Paul Powell from green acres came and knocked on their door. I think on Christmas Eve is the story. I'm sure my mom, if she ever listens to this I don't even know if I want her to listen Invited them to Green Acres and they tried for a while to get pregnant with me and my mom had some, you know, female stuff going on or whatever. So I think they had decided to just adopt.

Trey:

Like seven years or I don't know how long into their marriage they decided to adopt. Like seven years or I don't know how long into their marriage they decided to adopt and the way I understand it is the day or the week of their approval for the adoption. She found out she was pregnant with me and so they were well-established, I believe, at Green Acres, and I was raised at Green Acres and I think you know my birthday is January 7th and I think you know my birthday is January 7. And so the Christmas the year before. You know the year I would. I don't know how to explain that. I was going to turn eight. I was seven Christmas Day. I woke up you know five in the morning. It's still dark outside. I went in, you know, to find all the toys and everything, and you know they got the video camera out.

Pat:

I think we've got this on like a you know handy, handy.

Trey:

One of them old vhs or something yeah and uh, I was like kind of pouty and I wasn't playing with the toys and they were like what's wrong? And I was like I wanted jesus for christmas and they were like, well, we got to get you in to talk to dr dykes and you know.

Trey:

So I got to sit down with david dykes the next few weeks and like, go through a workbook, which is a really bizarre way to become a christian, I think right I mean, I'm not knocking it, you know it worked yeah, well, you know, you know dykes was great, but you know, I grew up and I had the kind of normal bapt experience. You know, vacation, bible school, uh, lock-ins, uh, what else did we do? You know, we wrapped houses, we had like disciple weekends and, um, I just remember from from from getting saved, and they, they baptized me at the church picnic in Lake Tyler and I think it was like in March. Okay, like it was cold.

Pat:

You was happy to get out of there. It was cold.

Trey:

I mean, when I came out I was a changed boy I promise, I was glad that I was wearing a t-shirt or something that was way too big.

Trey:

And you know I really I enjoyed church and going through the rest of elementary and middle school. I had some fantastic Sunday school teachers Just Danny Jones comes to mind. I had some awesome leadership and you know, green Anchors is great, it's a big show. You know, I got to experience some cool stuff Went on ski trips, the kind of stuff that big churches get to go do and I remember feeling recharged, no matter how tough the week got.

Trey:

I was looking forward to going to church on Sunday and I don't want to get too far into this. But my household was a little bit of a mixed bag, because I know, without a doubt, that my parents both love me. But you know, to give you the five minute version, uh, I got beaten a lot and I'm hard-headed, okay, but my little brother, I don't think, has ever been spanked in his whole life and uh, so things started happening, you know, like we would be getting ready to go to church and dad would go hey, you got to wear that button up shirt and the penny loafers and I'd be like I'm not wearing it and then he'd beat me.

Pat:

You know what I mean.

Trey:

He would spank me, whatever you want to call it, yeah, and then. And then you know we would yell and scream and I would cry, and then you know, dad would finish getting ready and mom would come in and help me put the shirt on that I wasn't gonna wear and you know I would go to sunday school. You know, clearly upset.

Trey:

I don't know why nobody asked any questions yeah and uh, but I still liked going to church and, um, you know, this kind of thing happens. You know, like, I think at one point around 14 or 15, when I really started noticing the high school girls, yeah, that was what's up. I was like man, I'm going to youth, yeah, yeah um, it's like I had such low self-worth that like, or maybe I respected women enough to just exclude myself from their presence.

Pat:

Yeah, yeah.

Trey:

Like I don't know if I was just like nervous or if I really believed that like every thought I had that was immoral was a sin. I was just trapped by that. I guess I. I guess I should say by the age of 14 or 15 I had become painfully aware of the weight of sin. Yeah, and I mean, I think I used my uncle's aol login to like get a picture of some cleavage and print it out in black and white. It was like in a shirt you know it was just the chest.

Pat:

It was crazy you know I got caught with that and so um, and, and a couple of things happened right out here.

Trey:

You know, like I turned 15 I was in the band, I played the tuba. Um, it wasn't very cool. I didn't really. Nobody told me that it wasn't going to be cool to be in the band. But in sixth grade I was like I want to play the tuba because I'd been mowing the yard at mitch's car audio my eighth grade year to save money to get store credit so that I could buy a subwoofer for my first car, my sophomore year because, like everybody, spends money to get more bass so I'll play the tuba the tuba yeah, so I did that.

Trey:

Now keep in mind, like right now I'm like 5, 10 to 45. When I was a freshman in high school I was like 5, 4, 100. You know tuba is pretty big. Yeah, but I played the tuba and through the ministry at green acres I got an opportunity to play at the youth orchestra for Green Acres. I actually got paid a couple of times to play tuba at things at churches because nobody has a tuba player.

Trey:

And I met a girl that was a cheerleader at our other school. I won't use schools or names because all these people are still living as far as I know. And it occurred to me that I didn't go to any dances my freshman year but I was like I'm going to go to something my sophomore year because I wanted to be cool. And you're kind of cool with other band kids, like everybody else in school knows that you're a loser yeah, you're just a kid, yeah, you're a nerd, or?

Trey:

whatever, right, like I clearly didn't have athletic ability at the time and um, how was it a game last friday and there was a? There was a player on defense for this team that was six four 385 in high school.

Pat:

Has a full beard in high school, in high school, yeah so um, we'll talk about those chicken hormones a different podcast.

Trey:

I don't know. I don't know what they put in the food you know, but it's not food.

Trey:

So you know, there's this girl you know she was smoking hot, a cheerleader. was like, hey, you know you want to go to, you know, homecoming with me. And she was like at your school and I'm like yeah, and so we did. But then, you know, logically, I thought through and I was like it'll be pretty weird and awkward if, like, we just see each other every other Sunday when we practice at this youth orchestra deal, and then I pick her up for this dance.

Trey:

And so I got my buddy, david, who was like a year older than me and he had a two-door Yukon which was sick oh dude, a Z71. It was so, so cool and we would third wheel it with him. He would pick us up and take us on dates Super awkward, super awkward. And so homecoming's almost here. I think we had football season was in full swing, the fair was going on, stuff like that, and we came home from a football game one night and we had a marching contest the next morning and it was interesting because she went to the other school. Like we all had football games on friday night and then the same marching contest the next morning right and uh.

Trey:

So we get home and like my parents are waiting at school and they're like hey, uh, you know, put your horn up. And you know I gave them my backpack or whatever after the football game. It was like midnight and I had already made plans to go to my girlfriend's house and not go home, at least not right away and so I just kind of like tossed my backpack and and like hopped in my buddy celica and like we skirted out of the parking lot and my parents were like what and you know you keep in mind, like I don't, I don't think I had a cell phone yet you know, so like there was, just like sia just left him in the dust, went to the girlfriend's party.

Trey:

Actually, I think it might have been at the lee baseball field, so shout out to travis wright and austin. I think it might have been at the Lee Baseball Field, so shout out to Travis Wright and Austin Wright.

Pat:

Y'all know about the Lee Baseball Field.

Trey:

It's right behind Service Merchandise. And like, dude, we got to like the place. And like somebody handed me a Zima and like I think I had my first drink in like fourth grade, but like this was my first drunk and this was my first drunk and like, dude, I was feeling it.

Trey:

Now, keep in mind, I'm 15. I've never kissed a girl. I've like held hands with this girl that I was going to go to homecoming with. She like has clearly had some drinks. You know, when I get there and I'm like, wow, and so I drink this Zima, oh.

Trey:

I'll never forget puking Zimas. And she was like, like I think you're a prude and I didn't really know what that meant. And uh, I was like, what do you mean? And she's like, well, you've never kissed me or anything. And I was like, well, you never kissed anybody, but I wasn't gonna tell her, right, I think there's a rap song about that. And uh, long story short, I finally did and it was awesome and I was like I made out with her all in the back of that Celica, yeah, it was great. This was a big problem for how I was raised at as a kid in church because, you know, they told me that like drugs and alcohol were bad and they told me that like kissing girls was bad. Right, you know, I don't think there's any kid in a youth group that's like PDAs are good, you know.

Trey:

So like I get it, but this was the beginning. So like I get it, but this was the beginning. You know, this, I think, coupled with the real combative relationship I had with my dad, was kind of the beginning of me thinking maybe this stuff's not a hundred percent, like somebody has got to be lying to me here, and so I started kind of questioning my salvation, but like not really seriously, I wasn't concerned about it. Well, the next day we had this big marching contest and so like I ultimately I went home that night I got in trouble. I don't think they knew I was drinking, but the next day I had to get up and go to this marching contest. So we go to the marching contest and we get back and they're like get in the car and I like threw my backpack at them and jumped in the celica and we skirted off again because I was like I'm about to find that you were about to hook up with this chick yeah

Trey:

and so I get to her house and like I'm gonna be honest, this is a long time ago, this is 2001 or something, and so the the best recollection I've got is that when I got there this you know her older sister was like in college or college age and like I guess her mom worked nights or something, and so there was like a unknown quote drug dealer leaving when I got there and he was like hey man, uh, are you Trey? And I was like yeah, and he goes well, if she like starts getting weird or something bad happens, just put her in a cold bathtub. And I'm like yeah, whatever, bro, you know cool that's the thing we do, yeah, so like.

Trey:

I walk in, somebody hands me a joint. I got another zima. Zimas are good. Zimas are like, if you don't know I guess I don't even know because I haven't had a drink in so long but it's like a Sprite that you get drunk on. It's amazing.

Pat:

I don't even know what a Zima is Speaking my age.

Trey:

I mean you know they were seven or eight years apart, so they brought Zimas back like a year or two ago. I saw them in a gas station and I started like gagging. I mean because they brought clearly canadian back and like I remember it being legit in the 90s, but like I got some and it was I don't know anyway.

Trey:

So, uh, I get in the front door and like I've got my little zima and my joint, you know, and I'm like things are going to be pretty good. And then, like my girlfriend comes out into the living room this is my remembrance of it Wearing a thong only and I was like this is awesome, but also what the heck? And so like I put my jacket on her, we go to her room and then she like starts in on me, like hey, let's do it, let's do it.

Trey:

I'm like no, I'm going to be a virgin when I get married you know, I mean like I was still kind of struggling with this stuff, but like last night was great, yeah, and I ended up just kind of forfeiting the v card, the whole deal whole nine yards now my recollection is that that night she talked about crazy stuff, like it was a. It was a great five minutes for me you know, from the moment we shut the door, like about five minutes later, I pretty much realized that I totally messed up everything I could have messed up but for the rest of that night like I didn't really sleep and she was acting really super weird.

Trey:

She was talking about dragons and stuff and like we weren't nerds like dungeon and dragons, right, you know that kind of, and she was like seeing castles and you know, I think.

Trey:

I thought about putting her in the bathtub. I didn't know if it was bad enough. And so I find out the next day that that, like I, at least what I remember. I just want to be super clear. You know, what I remember is she explained to me that the quote drug dealer was like her best friend's older brother and had injected her with some kind of drug, probably heroin, I guess I'm assuming I don't really know, and then raped her before I got there and that event, that event really like.

Trey:

I don't even have good memory about any of it now you know it was such a like dude, you know. So it was like how do you decide? Was it good or bad? You know right well, it was bad because I sinned, but then it was like badder because like even more that happened before it and then that takes like the the good, bad parts well it's like not good, I don't know.

Trey:

It's just really complicated for me. Um years later, another guy that I was, like the guy that had the celica, messaged me on facebook like 23 years after this happened.

Trey:

It was like I want to let you know like I'm sorry, I need to make amends to you because, like I was sleeping with your girlfriend when you were dating her back then and I was like go and sin no more yeah, I was like don't ever contact me again yeah, love you, dude bye so, uh, you know, of course I got in all kinds of trouble for, like, skipping out on my parents two nights in a row and I got grounded and you know I was told that I couldn't talk to her anymore or whatever, and um and and but, but that event in itself it really really it was just super tough. And you know, I don't even know if I can break down in this little podcast. You know, like the damage that that did to me. And then you know, I think, as school kept rolling, the pressure cooker was there. You know like I. You know I was an alternate for all state my junior year. I got in a couple, you know, for Tuba.

Pat:

Yeah, man, wow Okay.

Trey:

I was always like the best one. At every school I went to I was always first chair, you know, and I was thinking maybe I was going to go to college for, like music performance or something. I don't know what I was thinking, you know. And I mean I made alternate so I could probably go to any state school for free, um, but there was like a super pressure cooker, you know. It's like if, if, if I didn't do well in a class or if I got kind of sideways with my dad, it would be like you're grounded for the rest of the school year, you know. But then like I wouldn't be, it'd last a week, right, and then I wouldn't be um or um, you know, we would get into a huge knockdown, drag out, physical fight, and he would beat, beat me to shit. I mean, he was way bigger than me and then he would like go into my brother's room and read him a book and my mom would talk to me about it and try to fix it. So it was a real weird.

Trey:

When I was in fourth grade, for sure, I got beat with a concho belt because I couldn't figure out my multiplication tables, you know, and uh, and you know like I've got adhd or whatever I don't think that I have a deficiency of amphetamine, you know but like when they put that, when they put me on that in fourth grade, my teacher walked me out of class to my mom's car and was like he sat down, he read a book, he did his assignment. What has changed, yeah, and so pretty much from fourth grade on. That was when school started to be fun, because I quit having to go to the office. Um, so, you know, this thing happened. I kind of stopped wanting to go to church because, like I felt like I'd let God down and like he probably didn't want to have anything to do with me and I wanted to save the girl.

Trey:

And so, like you know, just plug in Eminem's Superman and just imagine that that's sort of how relationships went for the rest of my life, because that's pretty much you went for the rest of my life because that's pretty much.

Trey:

You know the way it was and, um, I mean I, I I didn't on my own accord walk into another church until I was 30 years old. Yeah, I mean I'm sure I went to a couple and sat through some or whatever, but like I didn't really want to go or try to participate until I was 30 years old so 15 to 30 and I don't know that I had more than about four days of drug or alcohol freeness from that night and until I checked into to treatment. Uh, spring of um. So so that was kind of a tough, tough pill to swallow and so I get it. It's like, how much of the Bible and how much of the truth are you going to tell a 14 year old?

Pat:

boy.

Trey:

Right and I. I don't know if, if, if you're like this, pat, but like I, I seem to have learned every lesson that people tried to teach me the hard way yeah like they try to tell me like, hey, stay away from this, it's not going to be good.

Trey:

The problem is with sin for me is like that doesn't mean that it's like not going to be good right now. Some of the stuff I did before, you know in my, some of the things I've done in my life where I thought I had excluded god, were the most fun, wild, crazy things ever. And I've got some awesome stories and I don't even regret all of them.

Trey:

But all of them all of them killed my spirit you know all of them all of them cut my spirit, you know all of them. All of them cut me off from God, and so I think I just that event, that event particularly, but coupled with the pressure of making grades, being good at band, you know, being a good example for my brother, whatever it is, you know, the relationship with my dad, um, really drove a wedge for me with religion with spirituality.

Trey:

And it wasn't until many years later, when I was faced with, you know, like hey, I don't really want to, I don't really want to continue to drink or use drugs, so like, but I couldn't figure out how to do that, you know, and I ended up at this treatment center called sundown ranch and I got this book called the Dallas poo, because I was like I don't think I'm a Christian and I was like I think I'm a Dallas.

Pat:

Their whole thing. That religion, summed up, is like the best action is inaction. Right, it's the perfect religion just go with the flow.

Trey:

Yeah, just so. Um, so I spent probably I don't know 10, 15 years just kind of not identifying God as God, so I guess I would be classified as an agnostic until I was probably age 30. Age 30, I got married and I wanted to take my family to church because, like all of a sudden, could tell like I needed something you know, like, uh, this whole thing is like herding chickens, you know, probably take them to church, maybe other people can help too.

Trey:

You know, it takes a village Whoa man.

Trey:

Well, they wouldn't stand up when they were like everybody stand, you know, like the rest of the family would just stay sitting, sitting, and so then they quit coming because I didn't care if they came, if they're gonna embarrass me, right. And then I quit going and, uh, so I know we're probably probably running out of some time, but I think I think, just to recap, uh guys, this is a a brief introduction, a bird's eye view of Pat and I and who we are, and with this podcast, we really hope that we can kind of bridge the gap between sacred and secular truth and lies. And, uh, I mean, I re, I really want to invite y'all you know to to listen believers, skeptics. I mean, we're going to have some honest conversation. We're going to have some guests on here. I've got a huge list of people that we're gonna bring on.

Trey:

Um, I think, I think probably the the overall theme of pat and i's story so far today is, you know, ultimately god meets us where we are, and maybe not even meets us like, chases us down. You know, like when I was a kid it was like narrow is the gate or whatever, but like that's not really been my experience.

Pat:

Yeah.

Trey:

My experience has been God has grace that we don't understand, and I didn't earn it.

Pat:

You know he, she just gives it yeah, I think I think one of the things for me that that was a real game changer was whenever I realized like there was a scripture in psalms that said um, that he sets a table before us amongst our enemies and he invites us to sit at that table. That invitation is always there. Could you imagine like hypothetical situation um, we're sitting at this table and god is sitting here with us, and then we get up to go sin. What do you think you think you'd be like doing that if God was like right, or Jesus was right there at the table physically.

Trey:

Absolutely, I've done it. I'm gonna be honest with you, dude, like I, for for a long time, the best I could do was I know I'm not God and I believe that God's real, and so, instead of me trying to believe that I can just get away with anything, as long as I don't tell God about it you know I don't know. Somehow I feel like that's how Catholicism is. You just do whatever you do and then, like you know, once a month, once every 10 years, whatever you go, and you confess it, all Right.

Pat:

Yeah.

Trey:

But I believe that every conscious thought is a prayer. I believe if God knew how many hairs were on my head before I was formed in the womb even know what I'm thinking, then he knows what I'm thinking. Right, which is where I kind of have an issue with, like you know, if you look at somebody and you're like, ooh, they look good.

Pat:

And like that's a sin, I'm like I don't know.

Trey:

I think it's a sin if I dwell on it. Yeah, so I kind of. I tend to think every conscious thought is a prayer, and so for a long time it was like I'd wake up, I'd go. God thanks for another day. Come to work with me today. God thanks for another day. Come hang out with my buddies with me today. God thanks for another day. I'm going on a date with my girlfriend and I don't want you to come with me, man. I've had chicks like get down and pray with me before we fornicated, is that? Can we say that?

Trey:

I guess we don't have, like, I mean, we can say whatever we want yeah, exactly we do what we want y'all get ready for episode two. It's gonna be wild, um, but you know, like I've done that, like I've legit been like hey god, I'm going to a bachelor party at timeout tonight, come with me. And so like I know that I would do that if I was sitting at the table with Jesus, because I've done it Right.

Trey:

I don't believe that. I didn't do it. I was consciously aware that God was there and chose to do things. That, and looking back, I would, and I agree with that, I hope, and looking back, I would hope that I disagree I agree with that wholeheartedly.

Pat:

But now I'm in a season in my life where I want to tune my heart Absolutely To where I'm able to sit at the table with a half-ass cleared conscience of sitting with Jesus and me sitting at his table, and he just lines things out, and not in a sense of you know, like I'm going to tell you to do this, this, this, this, this, but in a sense that I see the reality of God in my life, that I can't help but tell people about.

Pat:

And that's kind of where I'm at now is. It's not about what I've done, it's not about who I am, but it's really about the goodness of God. And, yes, he did certainly rescue me from those drugs, but at the same time he used those drugs and those lessons that I was so hard headed about learning about a hundred percent, like we have the opportunity to help people because of our, our shared experience and our individual experience.

Trey:

Definitely, you know, I mean like that, that's, that's invaluable. Invaluable, god. God allows us to use our testimony to, to testify to his glory, you know yeah, and so like, and that's what it's all about.

Pat:

Is his glory like 100? I don't want to hide my story.

Trey:

I want to share my story, right, you know so another another thing to think about is and I think we can just close with this is pain shared is pain divided, but joy shared is joy multiplied. And that doesn't work out mathematically or logically, but, like I said earlier, god created all of this. Yeah, so that's what we got today for two guys. No, what do we? Call them Two dudes and one God, two pods. I promise I'm not high. Two dudes, one god pod you.

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