2 Dudes, 1 God Pod
Welcome to "2 Dudes, 1 God Pod" We plan to launch 4 episodes per month on Fridays. We aim to explore how Jesus relentlessly pursues us, redeeming our sin and hardship. We believe that no one is beyond redemption, and even our missteps can ignite profound personal growth and a deeper relationship with God.
Join our laid-back hosts and inspiring guests as they share their highs and lows, revealing how moments of struggle can unveil incredible spiritual insights. With authentic storytelling, we create a space for you to reflect on your own journey, no matter where you stand on your faith path.
From career shifts to personal relationships and faith crises, our guests share transformative stories that highlight God’s grace and forgiveness. Each perspective is a testament to how Jesus has walked with them through life’s challenges. We invite guests and listeners alike to engage in honest conversations about faith and spirituality in everyday life. Come along for the ride and see how God is at work in every moment!
2 Dudes, 1 God Pod
Paths to Redemption: A Journey of Healing, Faith, and Forgiveness
Throughout the episode, we explore themes of faith, resilience, and divine timing. Hear how an encounter with a mysterious tattooed stranger and seeing oil tanks off of the highway offer hope from God. We also delve into profound reflections on God's providence, the enduring impact of Jesus' resurrection, and the simplicity yet power of prayer. As we prepare for our next chapter featuring guest Paul Roberts, we invite listeners to engage with their own questions about faith and cultural impact, paving the way for insightful discussions ahead.
all right, so we're back. Um, thanks for hanging in there through us, uh, there with us with that first episode. Um, we were super excited. We dove right in and honestly, I think time kind of got away from us um I'm I'm nursing uh sinus infection right now so I feel like I sound kind of nasally in the headphones.
Pat:But I think most of east texas is suffering from that right now I feel like they've got a balloon in their head, absolutely.
Trey:Absolutely so I just wanted to kind of pick up where we left off. You know I just started my run away from God, from God and um, and and my conflict with my dad uh really was really taken off uh by the time I was in high school and and shortly after um, and you know it was tough because I love my dad, he was super cool, I mean. I've got memories hunting, fishing, you know dove, pheasant, quail, you know snipe, you know what I mean. Um, you know lots, lots of memories down in colman, texas, and out in the panhandle or the. You know just just tons of memories with my dad and you know he was a very like.
Trey:You know he was at the practices, he was there every night at dinner and it just wasn't what I thought I needed or wanted, you know, and so kind of the beginning of that, if you're familiar with if, if, if you've known jesus for a while, and if you're an active member of a church or have been, I think you can identify with with a bit of a father wound and um, that thing was festering on me and I I had, I had really run to alcohol and drugs as a solution and, for whatever reason. It worked pretty good, like really awesome good, and then it kind of quit working and I started having back problems. You know, like everybody was on my back, like the friends that I was hanging out with smoking weed with were like bro, you need to slow down. And I was like y'all are dumb, 'all are losers you know, and then I found like bigger losers.
Trey:You know, I was like buying weed from homeless children that lived in an apartment that some adult had moved out of and they just kept paying the rent and they were like smoking meth and I was like knock on the door and be like hey, it's me. And they'd be like go away and somebody would let me in and I would go inside and, like sandy has like flipped open the recliner and like taking everything apart on it and I was like I just need a quarter, you know um, no, but I I had some real bonnie and clod uh times in high school.
Trey:Um, I found a video from the year 2000 where I was playing uh a rap song called shut up on the tuba at a pep rally I posted that I might throw that up on the facebook.
Trey:But, um, I was, I was searching for something and and I had, I had some good leadership. I, you know, uh, I was pretty pretty done with church, but, like I had a band director doug morris was super good. Tom minch, uh, you know, good, good dudes in their own way, I think. You know I had, I had grown men that I looked up to. You know, I had uncles, I had, I had some people in my life and you know, none of that really mattered because at this point I was chasing highs girls, drugs parties, you know, that's kind of the thing. But it really did stop working and I did get to a place where it didn't really matter how drunk or high I got, like I couldn't get away from my problems, and now the solution of getting drunk or high was creating more problems, you know. So it's like when your solution to your problems is worse than the problems that you started out with. You know it's quite a conundrum. It's a pretty bad situation.
Trey:Um, so I, uh, I stole like a a bag of golf balls from my dad and like a 13 inch tv vcr combo and like left my parents house to, not to like run away. I just I just went to the apartment complex down the street and tried to give them to this dude named jebo, who was like a drug dealer, and uh, and, and you know, at this point it's pretty late at night, so it's like two or three in the morning and the girls from to had just gotten off of work on their shift and they were like hanging out with jebo smoking weed and jebo was like I don't want this little tv or these golf balls, you know. And so, um, I don't know dude, I couch surfed for a little bit. Um, you know, at this point, my parents had had tried to get me to go to this like outpatient thing. I didn't really know what that was and uh, but I for sure wasn't going.
Trey:And uh, at some point, you know, I don't, I don't honestly remember the circumstance surrounding this. I'm pretty sure like I broke up with my girlfriend because I didn't get enough free drugs and I kicked her out, like I I got in her truck and drove off and left her in the street and like I had taken mushrooms or something, and so like I was not doing well, and then I realized that I didn't have a girlfriend, because I left her in the street and I went back like hours later and she came out of the woods and she was like I'm done with you and like she wouldn't even give me a ride to the house after I'd stolen her car. And so like I walked home and I remember just writing a note and slipping it under my parents' door and I was like, hey, I'll go to that outpatient thing. I'm in the backyard, or whatever you know.
Trey:And, um, they came to me and they said, hey, look, outpatient's not an option. Uh, but we've got this inpatient place, we're just waiting on a room. And then so, like my parents I guess like the drug counselor, you know told them like hey, keep him happy, or whatever. And so, like, they went and bought me cigarettes and stuff to like try to keep me at the house. And uh, how old were you at this point? I was 18, wow and uh, so, you know, I smoked some like seeds and stems that I had left and drank a little bit of some kind of liquor that I had left, and I guess they found a bed and you know, I checked into treatment and, um, that was a pretty rough. It was a pretty rough go. I'm pretty sure that when I got there they drug tested me and then they told me later that I had more THC in my system than any kid that had ever been through this treatment place.
Trey:And I was like cool, and I remember before I graduated that place, 35 days later when insurance was done paying, and my parents were like, hey, this is expensive.
Trey:You know I remember telling, like my counselor um yeah, I mean I'm probably not going to smoke weed again, but when I turned 21, I'm have a margarita. You know that was kind of like the extent of my my knowledge about things. But I did have a life lesson happen while I was there that that was super invaluable. Uh two really. The first thing was one of the counselors there knew a bunch of stuff about cigars. He knew all about the different wraps and leaves and what country they originated in. One day I was like man, how do you know all this about cigars? He goes because I like cigars. He's like what do you know about not using drugs and alcohol?
Trey:And I was like uh, he said hey, bud, if you really want to have a better life, you might start paying attention. And um, I determined that like I didn't want to be in that place. Like while I was in this treatment center, prom happened, my girlfriend went with some other guy, you know, I mean it was like a pretty tough time for me and so I just decided, well, I'm going to get out on good behavior. That's what they do in like prison movies and stuff. They like act right and they don't get in fights and then they get to go home. And I was like, if I do this and just tell them that it's I'm doing all the right things, then I'll get out on good behavior. And what's interesting about God is, I think, even if you don't really earnestly mean to seek God, if you're talking to him, you're still talking to God. And so I did these 12 step things that they were asking me to do and it changed me, you know, a little bit at a time, just enough that after 35 days I was smart enough to go. I can't go back home. If I go back home, I'm for sure going to get loaded. And so I decided to go to a recovery home and I asked them if they would send me as far away from my family as possible. So they sent me to Prescott, arizona.
Trey:See, my dad had come and my mom to a couple of you know family therapy sessions when I was in this place. And there was one fight in particular. I used to like when I wasn't, when I was couch surfing or homeless or whatever you want to call it I would stop by my, my family's house on Sunday mornings Cause I knew they were at green Acres so I would take a shower and change clothes and eat food that wasn't sauce packets from Taco Bell. You know what I mean, because that's where I was at and they had gone to the early service one day instead of the late service or something, I don't know whatever.
Trey:They came home while I was there and my dad and I got her I don't know whatever. They came home while I was there and my dad and I got into it and the fight was so brutal that my brother chased my dad off me with a kitchen knife like a big chef's knife, and I ran out the back door and, uh, my girlfriend just had stolen her mom's car and pulled around the corner right at this time. I ran out, I mean like I hadn't called her or anything, and uh, we went and pawned a video game system and got loaded and you know, or I think actually the the dealer like saw that I'd been beat up and was like you can just have these drugs, which is like when a drug dealer feels sorry for you.
Trey:So I had confronted my father about this instance in one of the family sessions and he was like I'd never hit you or you deserved it or something. Whatever he said, I was like I can't go home and so I didn't. And I went out to Arizona and I and I learned some that's a wild times in arizona too almost got kicked out of that recovery home because there was this girl named doreen and her dad owned a construction company and he was a sponsor for nascar. Like later on, these people that I was like they're, like they were on, like the tv show was intervention and stuff like that so it's like I ended up like meeting some pretty, pretty ridiculous people.
Trey:But this girl, doreen, got us tickets to like the checker 500. And like I just didn't go home to the recovery home that day and like went to Phoenix. It was nuts. Anyway, I did some wild stuff, um, but um, I made the decision to go as far away from home as I could and in doing that and my dad came out to visit my brother kind of went through some trials around that time. So it was just a good thing I needed to be there and it was apparent that I needed to be there. I've got some lifelong friends from that deal and it really it really blessed me.
Trey:Um, but I do want to rewind a little bit while I was in this treatment. So sundown ranch it's in between Canton and Athens, kind of off of 19. I must've been 15 or 20 days in and my parents came for one of those sessions not the one that blew up real bad, but they came and they kind of talked and they said, hey, he's been acting good. You know, we're going to let you take him out to dinner somewhere. And I got like seven cigarettes out of my little cigarette thing because I could only have seven a day.
Trey:So, I was like I'm going to have had four so far and I'm going to have seven when I'm gone and I'm going to get one more when I get back, and it's like it's gonna be a good day. But I forgot to get a lighter and you know my parents don't smoke, and so we're sitting outside the dairy palace. You know they went on in and I told them what I wanted. You know, in canton dairy palace right, glass building.
Trey:Yep, right, yeah, okay, everybody's on the same page i-520 dairy palace with glass windows all over, and I went to the gas station and I just scraped up some change in my parents' car and I had enough change to buy a book of matches. And so I'm like sitting on the ground waiting for the food to be ready, just chain-smoking cigarettes. You know, I only needed one match because I was butt-lighting them for the butt, you know. And I I just found out that like my girlfriend had gotten arrested and my little brother had gotten in trouble or something. My brother had written me a letter that I don't think that my parents read before he sealed it, you know, and I was very upset and I was just I didn't know what I was going to do. I couldn't imagine continuing to live the way I was. I didn't really know what that would look like or if I would even survive it and I couldn't imagine really all these things that these people, this treatment center, were saying I was going to have to do because it just didn't sound fun. But it was like kind of working. And this old Chevy pickup truck that was just gorgeous, like full, like 57 or something you know, restored pulls in truck. That was just gorgeous, like full, like 57 or something, you know, restored pulls in granted.
Trey:At this time of my life I was terrified of anybody that was gay or anybody that had tattoos and I just recently, like in the last couple of years, at this point, like gotten over my fear of people that smoke cigarettes, which is a weird fear, I think. Um, this dude gets out of the truck and he's got to be like six, two or something. Big white dude, bald head tattoos, head to toe, face, ears, Everything's tattooed. He's wearing overalls, no shirt. You know, I'm like darn you know what I mean.
Trey:Like I'm in Canton, Like this dude looks like great, like straight out of a prison movie, you know, and he walks over to me and says, hey, man, are you okay? And like normally I would say, yeah, dude, I'm fine. You know, Like what are you talking about? But instead I spilled my guts to this dude and he just stood there and listened to me and I was like my girlfriend's in jail and my brother's messing up and my parents think that it's some of my fault and I'm in rehab and I don't know what to do and I just don't know.
Trey:You know, like you know, they're saying that God's going to do all these things. And you know, I was just really. I mean, I was like in tears, you know, and I'm like looking around. I'm like where are my parents? I guess they're sitting down inside this restaurant and this dude listens to me until I stop and he leans over and sticks his hand out and picks me up and he goes. He like puts one hand behind my back and he's holding my hand. He looks me right in the face, just with the kindest face all of a sudden.
Trey:Now I don't really see the tattoos, it's just a weird deal and he goes dude, you're gonna be fine, god's got this. He's like I've been in recovery for over 20 years in Alcoholics Anonymous and I'm like I need to introduce you to my parents. I'm like, dude, stay right here, I'll be right back. And I walk in those swinging doors right there and I'm like mom, dad, come here and I turn around. The truck's not there, the guy's not there. There, the guy's not there. There's no way. There's no way this guy was ever there. I don't know, dude. And so at this point, I'm not hungry, I'm like y'all just take me back, like they're like we've already ordered your you know burger or whatever. I'm like, whatever, dude, take me back, I'm done.
Trey:You know, we had already been to Walmart and like I'd been on a ranch for 16 days that, like I didn't see tvs and radios like it was, it was a different environment and I just couldn't handle it. And so they take me back and they're like having their little nightly aa meeting or whatever at the treatment center and they were like does anybody have any burning desires? And then, like I told the story of what had.
Trey:So you know, at this point today I count that is like a burning bush deal you know, I don't know if that dude was an angel, I don't know if that was god, but like what, what the the content of that graceful conversation that I had with that man or angel or whatever, like I absolutely needed that right then. I needed it. And so, you know, like like people, some people say like, hey, you know, you have a moment of clarity or you'll have a spiritual experience and and I've had some of those like on mushrooms- you know, like I don't really know I get how those Indians do that stuff you know, I'm like, yeah, you, you have a vision quest.
Trey:Um, some of the most powerful experiences I've had have been on just a hundred percent water, you know what I mean. Like not not on any of that stuff. And so, uh, you know, really, the next big things that happened in my life is I decided I wanted to help people and I wanted to be a counselor. So I went to college and then I I worked in that industry for about seven years and I found out that you're just not going to pay bills like that, but I guess I'll look. I went to 12 this God guy or Jesus, you know they were. They were quick to say, you know, hey, you know, these religious folks they're not, they're not necessarily wrong. You know, like you should listen to what they have to say. And, uh, I think that was probably good for me. Um, a lot of wonderful people really really helped me.
Trey:I mean, one night I was at a hotel in Dallas and I really wanted to drink and I called, like my buddy's mom, that like I had seen her at a meeting before, and I just kind of had a feeling like she'd be awake and she talked me off the ledge. I don't know if I was even. You know I had some problem with a girl. I was trying to date some girl in Dallas. So I've got tons of little anecdotal things that have really helped me.
Trey:But my relationship with my dad was never really fixed. I almost feel like he was kind of resentful that he couldn't just have a beer with me. I it was pretty tough. I'm not going to lie, being 19, 20, 21 and trying to date, you know, and like not drinking, do drugs and like somehow I've succeeded in not drinking or doing drugs. But the night that I was going to turn 21 I had planned to go to time out with my buddies and all of them bailed on me and this girl messaged me on myspace and was like I'll go to time out with you and I was like, cool, well, you know, maybe we should get some food first.
Trey:So we went and got tacos and then, when we finished, and she was like I'll go home with you and I was like I'm not going to time out, that's a waste of money. And so I took her home and that ended up being my daughter's mom and uh, uh, we're we're still unpacking and unwrapping and trying to figure out all the pain and bad things that happened from that. But one thing I can tell you is my daughter is the biggest blessing I've ever gotten, you know. And so clearly I'm not going to be able to cover all this in this little time that I've got now. But, um, I later got married, um and uh had a stepdaughter and a stepson and, you know, bought a house and bought a rental property with my brother. I got into, you know, I've been kind of in some form of sales since 2009. I got out of the counseling because I wasn't making a bunch of money doing it and uh, not that I was chasing money, but like 26 000 gross isn't gonna pay for a family. You know what I mean. So, um, that marriage really was really an interesting thing.
Trey:My dad did not like her. Right before we were going to get married, dad and I's relationship had just really boiled over. It's so much so that I'd called my mom and I said, hey, after we get through the holidays, I'm done with dad, I'm going to effectively divorce him. We have irreconcilable differences. We cannot be in the same room. It's. It's bad for for both of our mental and emotional health for us to be together, and if you want to visit your granddaughter, you can just come to our house and and and and.
Trey:His behavior become crazy. I mean, he was like staying up late. He was calling my wife, he bought a car for my brother that I didn't want to ask him for and then he was convinced that I needed to pay him so he could give it to me. He wanted to sell me this car. Just a bunch of wild stuff was going on and I was like dude, I think my dad might be psychotic.
Trey:And this is right before Thanksgiving, my dad and mom had gone up to Denver to take my brother some stuff because he had moved up there, and on the way back he dropped my mom in Amarillo and he got lost between Amarillo and Tyler. Now, my dad grew up in Tyler and went to college at West Texas State in Canyon and he was intimately familiar with the drive from Amarillo to Tyler and, like he, he for sure got lost. He called a bunch of people. He, you know people reached out to me hey, you need to call your dad. He ended up spending the night, I think, in Sweetwater or somewhere, with like a friend that used to live up the street and and he was he and I were supposed to go to my uncle's place for Thanksgiving day. So this is the day before Thanksgiving. He and I were supposed to go to my uncle's place for Thanksgiving Day. So this is the day before Thanksgiving, he makes it home Thanksgiving Day, or I guess the day before Thanksgiving he makes it home finally. And my uncle went and got him and he had like all these guns in the front seat and my uncle took them to his house and we were supposed to ride together.
Trey:The next day I got up, my uncle's like, hey, look, your dad's in the backyard raking leaves. I'm like, okay, he's like just meet us out at the lake. So I get out to the lake and my dad's like acting wild. You know, he's wearing his high school letter jacket. He's playing football with my cousin's kids. He's quoting the bible and like screaming and stuff, and like we kind of had a little family powwow while he was playing with the kids and we all agreed that like he needs a psych eval.
Trey:We got to get him to the er and in the process of this he cuts his finger on his watch band and is he needs stitches at least three. I mean it's like it isn't going to stop bleeding, it's squirting. And I'm like thank god, because he wasn't going to stop bleeding, it's squirting. And I'm like thank God, because he wasn't going to stop Thanksgiving and go to the hospital. And we got to the hospital and the doctor was one of his buddies from the golf course, the ER doc that that attended, and he kind of looked at his finger and he goes Gary, your face is drooping, so we're going to need to get you to the hospital. Or well, he was in the hospital. You know what I mean. We're going to get like a CT scan or whatever they call them. And my dad's like, oh no, it's just Bell's palsy. And he goes ah, it probably is, but we're just going to.
Trey:You know, dude, they wheeled him off and like five minutes later they came back with him, showed up and he goes uh, hey, I want to pray with you. My dad's, like, don't scare me, he goes gary. There's a large mass on your brain and it's not good, wow. And uh, you know that that that started a a process of things that I don't know, that that I was ready for at the time. I guess I appreciate that.
Trey:Like you know, like here I am, I'm telling mom, like I'm done with dad, and then also here I am in the hospital, while mom's in Amarillo with you know, without a car. I don't remember how she got home, my brother's, you know, skiing in Keystone or snowboarding or whatever he's doing, and like I'm the only family I'm here in the hospital, my dad's clearly not thinking good and he's got something going on with his brain and um, I mean, it felt like I was in the twilight zone and um, you know, we took him home. He went back, he had some bobs, he's over the next week or so. My brother came down, um, and you know it was just apparent that, like this brain cancer was going to kill him, he was for sure going to die. And when they did the biopsy, then he couldn't walk anymore because they had to go and take parts of the brain out to check it, you know, and people came to the hospital and, well know, and people came to the hospital and well-meaning believers came to the hospital, laid hands on him, prayed, prayed these beautiful prayers. You know God's the great physician and he's going to heal.
Trey:Your father and and my dad was was just on fire for God. You know he was quoting Philippians 413. He paid for me to get a tattoo Philippians four 13 and he hated tattoos and, um, I mean, he had this one nurse that was clearly a Muslim dude from Africa and he was like hey, hey, uh, I got a test for you. You know, he's like Phil four 13. What is it? And the guy's like I'm a Muslim.
Pat:You know he's like.
Trey:Oh, you know, he said like, oh, you know, isa, you know, isa, you know, I mean, he was like he was trying to convert some people and save some souls, you know, and these people were praying for him. I mean, we, we had, we sang Christmas carols, we did a bunch of wild stuff, you know, and and and our family really drew together in a stressful time in a big way. And those people I'm telling you that, those people that were there, I mean I took leave from work, I didn't go to work, I stayed with my dad, for, you know, the, for as much as I could during that time and, um, eventually, you know, he was moved to hospice care and, um, people were still praying god's gonna heal your dad, you know. And, uh, I took, I took care of him, mom and I, he wanted to leave the house, he wanted to be out of hospice and, uh, you know, he was super healthy other than the brain cancer. You know, there was nothing else wrong with this guy and, uh, he had a friend from school named jeff pinkerton and he's got a place, um, out in chapel hill called we hope ranch, and he had just finished, I think, like a kind of a guest house right next to his house and and dad, and you know he said, hey, I'd be honored for your dad to come out to that house, you know, I think, I think it'd make it more special.
Trey:And so we got authorization and we took dad out there and the last two weeks or so he was out there at we Hope and you know I changed his diapers, you know I gave him his medicine and I listened to him cough and have hiccups for three days straight.
Trey:I mean just and and and uh and. Through this whole time from Thanksgiving forward, you know the everybody missed the miracle and it was that my dad and I reconciled yeah, and and. Today I'm sitting here telling you that if, if, I could have lunch with him one more time, if I could have him, you know, bring me a gas can, pissed off because he had to stop what he was doing, and bring me a gas can because I didn't get gas the night before and ran out of gas one more time. You know I would jump on that opportunity. You know, the last two or three days of his life he didn't speak, but the last words that he said to any human, I gave him his medicine and he pulled me close and he said you've been God's angel to me today and the healing that I experienced in that moment.
Trey:You know, I don't know that I'd be sitting in front of you, pat, right now if I hadn't had that. I needed it. I needed it. Every boy needs it from his dad. Yeah, and there's a lot of men listening to this right now that probably wouldn't admit it in a group of people, but you understand and you know. So that's January 2015. So he made it from Thanksgiving Day, when we found out, to just a week and a half or so into January and passed and, um and uh, and and I'm trying to think, man, I'm a terrible historian.
Trey:Anyway, in october, I got married to this girl that he didn't like and um, you know that that marriage lasted three years. At the end of that marriage, I'll just fast forward. Like, I'm pretty sure she tried to poison me. There's a bunch of bad things, I think. She that marriage lasted three years. At the end of that marriage. I'll just fast forward. Like, I'm pretty sure she tried to poison me. There's a bunch of bad things. I think she cheated on me with her boss or something Like. I never really got clarity on all that. But a counselor from grace works was like hey, I'm worried about your physical safety. Do you ever get the feeling like your wife's cheating on you? Wink, wink or whatever? Right, like what, what can a, what can a marriage therapist really disclose? You know, and uh, and she said you have biblical grounds for divorce. And so you know, clearly things weren't gonna. You know like I came back from a business trip in Vegas and my key didn't work the lock to my own house.
Trey:You know, so, like we got divorced, but right before that January my dog dies, I find out that my marriage is over. We put our house up for sale. The people that own the property next to us ran survey stakes down our driveway that we had just built right after we got under contract on the house, and then those people pulled their offer and we ended up having to sell it to the people that put the stakes down the driveway.
Trey:So I moved in with my mom at the age of 30, sold that house. My brother and I had a rental property that we had had a joint venture on. So, you know, we sold, we sold that ultimately. I mean it was like a bad country song and and I wasn't, I wasn't doing great and uh, I really slid hard, uh into, you know, working out steroid use. You know, somehow I didn't drink or use any drugs, but, like you know what I mean, I got in shape pretty quick. And then, boom, man, women, and I mean wild stuff. You know, I just I went to a sex addicts meeting one time because I thought maybe I had that problem, because, and they were like, do you have anything you want to share?
Trey:And I was like, yeah, well, I've had five different girls over my house this week and they were like, hey, you can't say that here. And I was like what? And then the next guy was like well, I want to say that, like in another three months I'll be able to get a smartphone again. And I was like I don't have that problem, yeah, you know. And during this time I was a financial advisor and I had a guy call me and he acted like he knew me and like I just didn't know this guy. I didn't know his name, I guess he kind of looked familiar and finally I'm like dude, what is going?
Trey:on with you. You know, like I guess I know the guy. You know, yeah, he's just so different. I'm like he's not that guy I knew him from from a recovery deal. And uh, he's like man, you've got to come to spar. You got to come to spar. I'm like what is spar? He's like dude, just you just got to come. So he stayed on me and finally I went to this spar deal and I found out later it's kind of like an aftercare thing for this thing called boot camp, which is there's more about that later and anyway, I started going to this deal and I started telling these guys the truth about who I was. You know, I started, I started getting real honest about who I hurt and why. I started getting honest about the causes and conditions of of of where I was at in my life. And I ended up going through the boot camp deal and I started going to church at Cross Brand. And I started going to church at Crossbrand.
Trey:I met amazing dudes like.
Pat:Nick Swinford.
Trey:Paul Roberts, jeff Butler, I started staying Instead of just running out. When service was over I started hanging out. I remember I ran up to the lady that sings up there I forgot her name, but no offense or anything. I went up to her after service one day and was like you know, you blessed me with your voice and like you're one of the reasons I come here, and she was like, okay, you know, super awkward and um, and then I started kind of visiting over here wilderness, where I'm going now, and um, and just religiously going to this spa deal, which was awesome, I mean, it was like it gave me. You know, I got to share some of my story really more in depth, probably three or four hours of my story to a group of dudes and like I had people pulling me aside afterwards and they were like I've lived, lived my life polar opposite of you, you know, and we still had some overlap, you know, on the Venn diagram.
Trey:Yeah it's like we still had some of the same hurts and pains and just just an amazing deal. And you know, I'll say I'll say this and and then I probably need to wrap up a little bit. But, um, that whole experience led me to the wife I'm married to now, you know, and those men huddled around me and prayed for this woman and, um, and I and I for sure don't deserve the life I've got. In fact, in pretty short order, I met and dated and married this woman, and then my daughter moved in with me and is still with me and I'm just so blessed and it really kind of began with somebody from a church listening to me share my mess and not saying, hey, we don't do that here or you can't say that.
Trey:They said tell me more, let's talk about it yeah you know, they said hey, you know, I've struggled with this too. You know, this is what I did, and and they leaned into me instead of pushing me away. And sometimes I think that my own fear and my own insecurity and you know that it's like it it makes me sell myself short. You know, like through through that boot camp thing, I found out that that I'm worthy of love. You know, and I think that was a missing point for me. I believe I was baptized in the lake. I was saved when I was seven. I don't believe I could lose grace. I was raised a Baptist. This is what I believe. But these experiences the experience of getting sober forced me to acknowledge that God was real. The experience of having my whole life burnt to the ground at the age of 30 forced me to figure out if I believe in God because the Bible tells me so and the Sunday school teachers that I had told me so, and because my parents told me so, or if I believed in God because he had delivered me from drugs and alcohol, because he was there with me through the heartbreak, you know, because he was there with a plan moving forward, you know. And when I quit chasing women and started asking God hey, what do you have for me? Just show me, show me in a way that I can't deny. You know, if these women that I'm talking to are bad, you know, have them die in a car wreck tomorrow. You know, like I mean, I'm like, show me, just show me. I'm like I'm done. I am done making the decision. I'll get out of the way. This is your show. Just tell me what you want.
Trey:Things in my life started to change and if it had happened any sooner, I'd have missed it. You know, like he, god, had perfect timing, yeah, on that stuff and um, so you know, now I I haven't done anything else with the boot camp crew, but like we've got a freedom weekend thing in church and it has absolutely blessed me even more and I'm not going to give away anything. But I have some questions for the listeners and if y'all could just take a moment, do you truly believe and trust in God? Do you truly believe and trust in God? And what's keeping you from the life God's calling you to live? And if the answer to that last question is fear, what's the fear? You know?
Trey:And I just ask you all to meditate on that and maybe pray this week, pray for a sign from God, pray for guidance, and uh, man, I hope that this has made some kind of sense because, you know, I listened to that last episode, just like y'all, just listened to it and uh, but I didn't listen to it today. Um, I did just get out of a movie called the Forge, which you should probably see If you haven't seen it. It was pretty good, and thanks to Mike Tuttle for hosting our church at the AMC.
Trey:I want to know what Pat has for the second half of his little introduction For the second half of his little introduction.
Pat:Well, I too have some father wounds, but they're not really quite in the sense of abuse. I can honestly say that my dad was my best friend my whole life. He definitely wasn't perfect by any means, my whole life. He definitely wasn't perfect by any means, but he loved me and he provided for me and he was always there for me. I grew up in church. My mom always had us in church type thing. I was definitely a believer as a child.
Pat:Child, and you know, I don't, I don't always invite my dad to church and and he'd never come because he, he had some church hurt that I didn't understand as a as a child, and he never revealed to me um, whenever I was that age. But, um, you know, I I'd I'd kind of like go see him on, like hey, can you please come to church, and he'd always say no, but then I stepped away, as I told you all in the last episode. I stepped away, I stopped believing, and my dad was the one who could really tell Like he never really like encouraged me to go back to church or anything, but he definitely noticed, um, that I wasn't involved in inviting the things, but, um, we would go places, like we'd go like to Vicksburg, mississippi. I got a bunch of found a bunch of pictures the other day of us down there, um, but whenever I came back to Christ, um, like I told my dad about it and and he, he, he kinda was like well, I've missed you. You know what I mean. Like he, he was the type that definitely um noticed it and he definitely missed me influencing him and talking to him about the scriptures and all that kind of stuff and um, you know there was.
Pat:There was a lot of things that took place after um, I rededicated my life and you know I I went to, uh, australia, for I think it was two and a half, three years and um, I went there kind of on a whim.
Pat:Um, I had met um a girl over here and then I started talking to her aunt online and I ended up marrying her aunt and um just kind of showed up down there and um was there for a few months and then went to um the cattle stations, um out there. But in that few months I was actually working um in a steel shop, um, and I had uh, uh worked with these handful of guys and kind of got to know them and, like I was, I was just like on fire for God type thing and really like wanting to know more about him. But I, uh, even to the point where I'd gotten a big cross on my right arm and um, and this guy that I worked with, he, he had noticed it and he was like um, looked at that and he said, oh, are you religious? And, man, with a grin on my face, I said no, I have a relationship with Jesus.
Pat:Christ right and I just I thought that the revival was about to take place, like I thought I really stood ten toes on something and, without skipping a beat, this dude looked at me and he says, all right, well, what's the difference in the Muslims relationship with Allah, what's the difference with the Buddhist relationship with whatever God that he's, with Buddha? Or the Hindus relationship with whatever God that he's, or with Buddha, um, or the Hindu's relationship with whatever God that he worships? And I could not answer that question, um, because uh, I mean, I was brought up in the church and like, uh, I knew that I was a believer whenever God had delivered me from drugs and I just didn't understand how to voice it, and so that really put me on a search. It made me start to dig deep into what the gospel is and understanding what it is that Jesus actually did. And in that time I'd gotten married, I'd gotten involved with a church down there and, you know, was heavily involved in that and loved every bit of it. But unfortunately we had to leave and we came back over here and I was involved with a cowboy church out in Tatum and I had kind of burned myself out, like I kind of stretched myself out really thin. I was doing Monday night meetings, I was doing Tuesday night men's Bible study, I was doing Wednesday night service and then Thursday night maybe like team roping or something. We had several events, but basically every single night I was doing something and it showed up in my marriage and we actually ended up separating and getting a divorce. But we had my daughter and um she ended up going back to Australia and um my daughter went with her and that was a very, very low point in my life.
Pat:But I can honestly say that since I've been 18 and I turned to God and cried out to Him, I've never turned away from Him. I've never stopped pursuing Him. I've never changed my thought process on anything like that, because God, god was too like like you could convince me that, that you don't exist before you convince me that god doesn't exist. You know what I mean. Like like that was how really was to me. Yeah, um.
Pat:But after that I went to the oil field. Um worked in um frack and cool tubing mechanic for um, a uh frack company, and just kind of floated around like after um everything had happened. Um, my dad was one of the ones that was that gave me the best advice. You know. He was just like just go to work, son, just just focus on the things that are in front of you and god will provide for everything else. And um and so, like I bounced around, like oilfield took a dump I think it was in 2014 or 15.
Pat:Saudis flood the market, as they usually do, and I went to welding. I worked on a few ranches, worked for people hauling hay, just kind of floated around in careers for a while. But then my dad actually offered me a job with him, going on the road and like staying on the road type thing, and I went to building tanks and welding full time with him and we went all over the place. Like we built tanks out in New Mexico, mississippi, louisiana, north Carolina, and I got to meet a plethora of people in that time, but I wasn't involved with the church. Like I would go to a church on Sunday morning and I would just like skip out as soon as the service was over, like I would get what I needed and then just leave, not don't talk to me exactly not not pour into anything like have anybody pour into me but you were in different places a lot.
Trey:Yeah, exactly. So place for a month or something, right?
Pat:and, and you know, even whenever I would be in places for like six or seven months, like just going to like the idea of telling somebody hey yeah I'm.
Pat:I'm here for the next few months, but I'm just going to be leaving um after that and you're probably never going to see me again. You know what I mean. Like, I didn't like having those conversations with with church people, um, but I uh, I was on the road that whole time and I remember in 2021, um, this was um after COVID, I was at the house and, um, I came down with COVID and I was living with my dad whenever I wasn't at a hotel or whatever on the road and he drug me to the doctor. He was like you need to go to the doctor, we need to find out what this is, and everything like that. They confirmed that it was COVID and I was like, okay, and my dad was 72 at the time and he came down. He come down sick and I was like, all right, dad, it's your turn. We got to get you to the hospital, got to get you to the doctor and he was like, no, I already know what it is Like, I can handle it.
Pat:A few weeks had passed and he was coughing and it was getting worse and like, in that time, like I had gotten better and I was going to be headed to a job in Florida and he was still sick and I actually remember walking out of the room. I actually remember walking out of the room. I gave him a hug before I left and he said I love you and I'll see you soon. And so I left and it continued for a couple more weeks Forgive, me, I can't remember the exact time frame.
Trey:Yeah, it's pretty tough with a mic in your mouth.
Pat:Yeah, exactly frame. Yeah, it's pretty tough with a mic in your mouth. Yeah, exactly, um. But uh, so I'm in florida and my sister, um, asked me if I knew that he was sick and and I was like, yeah, I, I knew that he had, he was sick and had covid. And she was like, well, I just told him, either you drive here to my house or I'm gonna come get you. And he drove to her house and I think he was there for, like I want to say, 36 hours before she took him to the hospital and she worked in the hospital here in Tyler and so he's in the hospital I think it was for 13 days.
Pat:And my sister called me up and I'm like working this whole time, like I'm trying to, I'm working on what was it? Blunt Island Marine Corps Base in Jacksonville, florida, and she calls me up hey, you need to get home. And I came home and on my way home she called me up and said, hey, this is going to be your last conversation with dad, because they're giving him his medications and everything like that and he's already asleep. It's really not looking good giving him his medications and everything like that and he's already asleep. Um, it's, it's really not looking good and I'm going down I-20, um in Mississippi, and so I pull over and, um, I just talked to him and you know, I just told him I was like hey, dad, it's, it's okay If, if you need to go, um, I'll see you soon, um, and so I got off the phone and, um, I dried my eyes and I went going down the road and I'm driving along and I look over to the right and there's a field of tanks, three tanks that me and my dad had built at sunset.
Pat:Like I was driving through at sunset which that's something that we always did, we always watched sunsets type thing. Like, what kind of tanks? Uh, like, um, uh, oil vessels, like, uh, they the ones that they'll like on trains or not on trains, but um they, basically they like the cylinders.
Pat:The storage, yeah, the storage units, like the storage vessels that they'll put out, and and, uh, they were the ones that y'all built. Yeah, they were the ones that we had built. And that was like such a moment of like god's got me you know what I mean like he's orchestrated all this, all this stuff, in this time. And I pull over for 20 minutes and I get going down the road three minutes down the road and I see tanks that me and my dad had built a couple of years before. And that was such a moment where God had really shown up and was just like I've got you in this. And so I come home, we do dad's funeral and I get everything handled back here and I'm like, all right, well, just buried my dad. Um, the show must go on, type thing.
Pat:And so I go to a couple of jobs. I go to North Carolina, um, I go to Virginia, and it seemed like I was just chasing my tail because like I was working on military bases and like there would be all kinds of issues coming up like, oh, we don't need a welder these days. Like, just go to this job site. And then I get to this job site and they're like oh, we don't need a welder here. So just go to this job site and like I'm burning money this whole time and like I'm trying to stay afloat and all the while, like my truck is breaking down, like I drove I had a three quarter ton Dodge that, um, the water pump went out in Texas and I drove all the way to Florida without realizing the water pump was out.
Pat:And then I go up to um Virginia and then come back down to North Carolina and just like back and forth, back and forth, and finally I make it back to Alabama where I finally find like I'm traveling for like three or four weeks just to make a paycheck type thing. And finally I found a job in Alabama for a contractor that we had associations with and stopped there while my truck blew up, like it finally gave up the ghost, like I was driving that thing way longer. Shout out to George Cummins Like they know what's up. Um, but so I finished this job in in Alabama and then I come back home and get another truck and then I go to Tennessee and like all the while I'm I'm trying to do this stuff and and make a living, like I'm just noticing it's not the same without my dad there.
Pat:Like I, I took on that that role of making sure that he was taken care of, that he was looked after, because he was an old man on a job site and I told him that all the time I'm like you were too damn old to be doing this stuff. But I went to that last job and there was just something in me that was like dude, you're done.
Trey:You knew it was the last job. Yeah, I knew it was Like I was showing up you should have done.
Pat:Stop Absolutely, Like three or four jobs before, Like I was showing up late to this place.
Trey:It's kind of like when you like fall and hurt yourself and you get up and you start walking.
Pat:Yeah, it's like your dad died and then you were just like well, I gotta go back to work, exactly just trying to walk it off right and and so I I came back to east texas licking my wounds and, um, I talked to a few welding shops here in um tyler area and nobody was paying nothing for welders in the area. And so, uh, I was like all right, you've been floating around here acting like you're the big bad welder on the job site and you just lost your daddy. Um, I didn't want to be the big bad guy anymore. I didn't want to be the dude that was in charge of everything, that knew everything, like. I just got to a point where I was like I'm so done being in charge, I'm done taking on more than what I'm capable of. I just really humbled myself and I walked into a butcher shop and I was like hey, do you need anybody that can stack boxes, like like low man on the totem pole and, um, the guy was like, well, um, I'll tell you what, can you skin things?
Pat:and I was like, yeah, I can, I can skin stuff.
Pat:And um, so they had just dropped a steer in the back and I went back, skinned it, got it, hung it and put it in the cooler and was like, when do you all want me to start? And he was like I'll be in touch. So I went to work there and was doing that for a few months and I was just finding so much more purpose in, I don't know, like, serving people like these people put a lot of money into their livestock and they we want to make sure that everything's cut right, everything's packaged right, everything's killed correctly. Like we, we want to do everything right and by the book. And I just appreciated that and wanted to do that for more people.
Pat:And about that time is whenever I started getting involved with wilderness. Like my excuse for a long time was like, oh, uh, yeah, I'm not going to church because I'm not from this area, like I'm not local to them. So now that I am local, what's my excuse for not going to church, type thing. And I like explored, um, a couple of places and and I knew some wonderful teachers and preachers in the area, um, but there was just always something about wilderness that that like called out to me. Cause, like I knew, I knew Travis from um, a previous ministry, from like 10, 15 years before, and, um, I just was drawn here and the more and more I got involved, the more and more I saw God just like showing up and those lessons that I was learning in all those times that I was running around all over the country, like they were, they were coming to life to me and and I was actually able to apply those lessons and and move forward in that. So, um, and then I, uh, now, um, here in the last three months, um, I, we got slow at the butcher shop and you, that happens, like we, we kind of accept, expected it, it happens every year.
Pat:And I was, uh, looking to go find another job or a second job and, um, I, there was a taxidermist right next door and so I, um, I was walking up to my truck and the lady that runs it she was like what are you doing? You know, blah, blah, blah. And I was like I'm going to find another job and she was like what, you get fired, you quit or what. And I was like, no, I just need a second one. And she was like, dude, I need all the help that I can get up here. So I just went up there again, taking that lower position, just to help and just to serve, and, um, I started fleshing out skins and getting things ready and helping her build like uh, forms and and, like you know, building the wood pieces and all that kind of stuff.
Pat:And then, next thing, you know, I'm starting to get on the stand and I'm actually starting to Mount deer and I'm like I couldn't believe that, that I like I knew of taxidermist but I never met anybody. But like, how in the heck are you supposed to do that to a deer? You know what I mean. Like, how are you supposed to make it look like that? And the more and more I did it, the more and more it just came so natural to me. And, um, now, like I'm I'm managing, um, that shop, like I'm I'm making sure that everything's getting out on time, I'm I'm mounting deer and and like just going through the whole process and really it's all because I just stopped trying to be right all the time.
Pat:I just stopped trying to write my own path type thing, and I actually turned things over to God and just said, lord, I don't know what you're doing in this situation. This is completely new, completely foreign to me, but I know that you have the answer and that you are capable of teaching me what it is that I need to and the things that are just starting to fruition now. They're man. God is so good in my life and I'm in the process of my daughter coming back over here and my ex-wife has gotten remarried and everything like that and really just trying to stay focused on him and keep moving forward with the things that he's called me to, because he's too good not to do the things that he's promised.
Pat:That's the thing we tend to think that God is like this cop up there, that is just like you know you can't do this.
Pat:Or or a judge, that's just like you know you're condemned. You know you've already done all this kind of stuff. You've, you've been down these routes and you did all this stuff. And and the reality is, is that his goodness outweighs our consequences and and whenever we start to actually look for him and we start to pursue after him, that's whenever his goodness really like you can see it in every single thing, like even the fact that the sun has risen today and the moons come out after it like his goodness is something that is so intangible and it's and it's a mystery as to why he would even send his son for us. You know what I mean? That's the thing. We're in sin, we're born into sin, and you can tell by the world that is all around us. We hear about all kinds of heinous, ridiculous things that just make us shudder. And yet God stepped into time and brought Jesus to us, and then, on top of that, he was the ultimate sacrifice for us.
Trey:And whenever we start to understand what it is that Jesus actually did for us on the cross is whenever we start to understand how good the father really is but you know, some people are like well, god is just like an eight-year-old kid that has an ant farm and we're just a bunch of ants in a little box running around and some people, some people go well, if god is so good and he's real, then what's with all this suffering, pain and death? You know, what's interesting is, you know, when I listen to your story or I think about, think about my life, um, the, the times where I could look back and be like man, that's really stunk like why didn't god help me? Here, where I am right now? Today, I'm able to see some things that I couldn't see from where I was in the past and I'm so thankful, you know.
Trey:But like I look at like my, my wife had a horrible childhood and a really rough life, terrible things, you know. You know like really super, very bad stuff. But like here she is Today, she's like I said a prayer last night, yeah, so you know, how do you know that it's like because we have free will and things are bad, there's an opportunity for God's providence.
Pat:Right, and I think that we tend to start to harp on all the bad things that go on in our life without realizing that whole idea of free will.
Trey:Well, like when things are going good, I don't think I'm sick of all this free will, right, you know? And I don't think like look at all the things God's doing. Right, it's like when things are going bad. I'm like things are bad.
Pat:Right, this is really bad.
Trey:I wish things were good and it's like God's fault that they're bad. But when things are good, it's easier to think that it's like my success.
Pat:Yeah, and the things that I deserve and the things that I've done. Yeah, it's easy to go down that route because and it's also easy to go down the other route as well because whenever we actually look at the world and the fallen state that it is is in, like whenever we look at the bible, um, you see the imperfections of man, you see every bit of it, and people will be like, well, god said to do this.
Pat:god said, well, you got to really go back into the context of the scriptures and to understand, like whenever, um david was doing certain things, um god was still um pursuing him. Like god still anointed him as the king and he had a choice to be up on that roof checking out by sheba you know what I mean. Like he had that choice, like the king wasn't even supposed to be in in town, like everybody was off at war and david was chilling on his rooftops and he's like, oh, check out bath sheba, type thing. Like he wasn't even supposed to be there. He's supposed to be out with his men doing the things that that israel was supposed to be handling.
Pat:And whenever you see how the consequences of his actions really affected David because I think it's in Psalms 51 where he says it's against you and only you I have sinned against. Now you think, like David, sinned against a bunch of people, but his first and foremost stop was that you're the one that I've sinned against whenever he came to that point of repentance.
Trey:Yeah, I mean, god clearly works things out for his glory. You know, it's like now I'm in a position in life where I want to be humble and I want it to be God's fault that things are good. It doesn't have to be that I did it. Trey doesn't have to do the good stuff. You know, what did Paul say? For the good that I would do that I do do not, or for the evil that I would not do, that's what I do. You know, like I, I don't want to live like that. I'd rather I'd rather live in god's grace, but I want to do it in a way that I'm not requiring his forgiveness and grace constantly right and and living with that shame and the guilt and everything else.
Trey:He's such a good father, you know, and, like I, had a hunger for the relationship with God that came directly from my broken relationship with my earthly father.
Pat:Yeah.
Trey:And I love my dad, I love my dad. I don't want to give away some of the freedom weekend stuff, but anyway, you know and you got you experienced a lot of healing.
Pat:You know, right, like that's that whenever you said, like I think people really miss the miracle, like like that right there within itself is is the healing, that, like they were praying for you know what, I would say that their, their, their prayer was actually answered just not in the way that they wanted.
Trey:And how many times in my life or anybody else's have we prayed and prayed, and prayed and just missed it? Yeah, just totally missed it was that garth brooks had a song like sometimes I thank god for unanswered prayers I think there's some wisdom in that song. I don't know how, if garth brooks is good dude, or I think he got dittied or something.
Trey:Yeah probably, but I think what's interesting is we have pretty different stories and you're such a jack-of-all-trades master of none, but oftentimes better than a master or however that goes Master of some or something like that.
Pat:I don't know.
Trey:Jack-of-all-trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.
Pat:That's it, you know yeah.
Trey:You've got such a diverse like you just jump into different things and just learn them and then you know I've got some pretty wild life experience too. I've done a lot of weird things with some super weird people, yeah. So I think you and I kind of jive on that. But I guess you know today I'm not surprised that you and I identify with each other's stories and I'm, I hope that our listeners, our audience, you know and like, forgive me if you're a female, but like I feel like the things we've talked about last episode in this episode are almost exclusively like a men's kind of idea.
Trey:I don't know that this is like a men's podcast. I'm glad that you're listening. Maybe you can give this to your brother, your dad, your son, whatever, right, yeah, but uh, I see this all the time. Men come they think I don't have anything in common with these guys, and then we share our experience and then they're like me too yeah no, but it's like the good me too it's not like the hashtag me too, right hey look, when that thing came out, all these girls were like hashtag me too and they were posting pictures and stuff.
Trey:And like I didn't get it, like I'm like yeah I'm not saying that I'm a genius, but like I clearly didn't get the context and so like I was like posting pictures of me with my everyday carrie glock, and I was posting like hashtag, not me, hashtag, not me, baby, you know, I got these, I got this glock.
Pat:19 gen 4 you know, and, uh, I didn't get canceled but you know not yet, don't come at me okay, rainbow coalition, y'all just stay away this is speaking of that, you know god gave us the rainbow after the flood, so like I'm pretty sick of that appropriation, you know.
Trey:I think we should cancel that. Yeah, don't, don't come at me y'all.
Pat:Yeah, not, this is not the one, this is not the podcast.
Trey:Yeah, yeah, like hey look, I've got love for you. I'm not the judge, I'm just saying, like you appropriated the rainbow, yeah, and it's not cool. Yeah, you know, pick something else. Why does it have to be colors? I thought that was autism. You know somebody figure this out Right, and you know I've been accused of having it the tism, the tism. But I just think I'm direct, I just don't have time to not tell you the truth, yeah, and I think the most loving thing that I can do for for myself is not argue with with the truth right.
Trey:The most loving thing I can do for other people is tell them the truth, so like if I believe that god is real and he sent his son on earth and he lived a perfect life for 33 years. He was killed three days later he rose to heaven from the dead, came back, talked and touched and chilled and ate dinner and did all these things on earth, and that the disciples and the people that they discipled went across the land for the next however many thousand years we're at now telling everybody about it because they loved them and wanted them to to experience the goodness of god and be saved. And I believe that that happened. And I don't do it and I shy away and I don't go to the guy at work that's like clearly struggling, and I don't say, hey, man, I love you, god loves you. Let's pray about it. If I don't talk to somebody, that's like God's not real, you know. Then, like, do I even really believe it?
Pat:Yeah, you know yeah.
Trey:I'm not saying that I can earn salvation. I don't believe that. But like if you're not doing something, if you're not like the Great Commission, like if you're not doing something to make this world a better place.
Pat:You know then, like what are you doing Right and you know, like the fact that kind of to touch on the, the points of of the disciples and everything, like the fact that they died for it, like the fact that they some of them were crucified upside down, some of them were run through with spears, some of them were tortured, like all the, you go right down and down the list and and start to see what these guys really died for and what um they were testifying to. Um like I wouldn't die for a lie. Are you kidding me? Like I'm not going to be the guy that like knows that Jesus wasn't the, the, the Messiah, and like going to a grave for it.
Pat:Like that's that's ridiculous, especially whenever, um it's you've got miracles factored into it. Like a's that's ridiculous. And especially whenever um it's you've got miracles factored into it. Like a lot of people want to take out the miracle side of Jesus's ministry and just go by with what his words were. But you can't separate Jesus from his word or the eyewitnesses. And when you start to study the Bible and see that's that's kind of where I had come to whenever, um that gentleman in the shop, um had asked me, like you know what's up with your God type thing. Those were the questions that really put a fire within me that, um, I needed to get answers for because, um, I believed what I experienced. I just didn't have the knowledge behind what it is that.
Trey:God had actually done.
Pat:And I think that that you know that's one thing, that kind of to go on with with trace challenge. Um, you know what? What is it that you actually believe? Like, if, if, if you were to die today, would you know, know without a shadow of doubt that that you're going to heaven because of what? Like what? What is your answer?
Trey:like yeah, and and you're probably thinking like, well, I was baptized when I was a baby, right, or you know but like, what about the dudes? What about the thieves or whatever, the murderers?
Pat:on the cross next to them.
Pat:You know like they didn't get dunked in water they didn't get splashed on the forehead and jesus made the promise you will be in paradise with me today, today, today. You know that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, and you know the fact that jesus even resurrected, like we wouldn't we wouldn't still be talking about him if he hadn't resurrected, like if he would have just been another jew on the cross, because they were crucifying people left and right in Judea, like Rome had the iron fist on top of everybody. But the fact that Jesus resurrected and his ministry only stretched out across within 100 miles, within 100 mile radius, and of what we know, what he did, did and what the eyewitness accounts have, um, that right there is pretty significant because, um, it's in such a small part of the world and god knew what he was doing whenever he picked israel but like, think about this what about the jewish, the?
Trey:what is it? The? Uh, the sadducees and the pharisees, or what is it? The sadducees and the pharisees, or was it? The sadducees are the ones that were like about the crucifixion?
Pat:and the pharisees did like they were. They were both in on it, so like.
Trey:Then my question is like, did they go to heaven? Uh, like, because, because, like. Then then this really twisted right, because, like, apparently they played the part that god had planned for them to play. It's just such a thing well but like who? Like I just think that that that resonates with me. It's like are you saved or do you know where your, where your soul goes eternally?
Pat:right, you know I don't.
Trey:I don't really much care about that, because I'm gonna be real honest with whoever will listen to this. I believe that I have gone through hell that I created in my life while I was physically alive here. I have been to hell and you know I might be stupid, but like I'm not a Christian because I don't want to go to hell, right, okay, yeah, like I'm not afraid of hell, but I also don't believe that I'm going there.
Trey:I believe that I've been redeemed by 100% I'm going to heaven, but I'm not afraid of where I'm going there. I believe that I've been redeemed by 100%. I'm going to heaven, but I'm not afraid of where I'm going to go after I die. What I'm afraid of is the way I felt when I was 30, when I was 33, you know, when I, when I, when I, when I lost the best dog I've ever had my wife cheated on me, I sold all my houses. The way I felt when I told my daughter's mom hey, this isn't working out, and she took the baby and I just didn't see her again until the judge ordered it.
Trey:I'm afraid of feeling the way I felt when I woke up and I was like I'm not going to use her drink today. And by 11 am, believe me, I didn't wake up much before that I was already stoned. Yeah, you know, I don't want to live a life where I'm in bondage right now. Right, and I think we lose that message sometimes because when we were, you know preaching or you know the street, preachers are like you're burning hell.
Trey:You know like hellfire and brimstone, like like people aren't worried about that. They want some help now, yeah, and like I'm telling you that, like my, my walk with God, my spiritual, my spiritual life has been as small as I'm having really rough diarrhea and. I am in pain.
Pat:Lord, god, help me, please help me.
Trey:Probably the most effective prayer I have ever uttered is God, help me. And so, like, if you're listening to this and you don't really know how to talk to God, I think I just want to give you all this. You just need to hear this. I talked to God Like I'm talking to this microphone. I'm like hey, bud, you know.
Pat:Yeah, jesus, I need help, help me out, yeah.
Trey:You know, I just talk to him like that, you know. And you know, don't get worried about how you do it, you know. So, like when I said like hey, ask God for a sign. Just be like, hey, god, you know, I don't know if you're real or not, or wherever you feel. You know, however you feel comfortable, just be like, just show me. And you know, all you have to do is shut up and listen and watch and you'll see, he'll just show up. He'll show up and uh, hey, if y'all do that, if y'all answer these questions and do that, you know, shoot us a comment on Facebook or you know, drop us a line, somehow, let us know, I'm interested.
Trey:I'm interested in what your experience is.
Pat:And we'd like questions too. I understand that there's a lot of people out there that struggle with believing validity and faith and everything like that, and, to be honest, we want to reach those people because we have questions too. I mean, you just heard a question that he asked about the pharisees and everything, and and I'd like to come back to that maybe in another episode because, like the, the answer to that is is so it's pretty amazing whenever you start to dive into the word and you start to see the way that jesus affected the culture of his time. So, like, whenever you have those questions come up in your thoughts, like, just go ahead and shoot them to us over on the page, over on the Facebook page.
Trey:Yeah, and y'all are in for a treat on this next episode. We have a special guest coming, mr Paul Roberts. Mr Paul Roberts, yes.
